I'm not
by Worren
Summary: Robin kinda miss Slade... Reflection of Robins feelings and thoughts. placed somewhere after the last episode of Teen Titans


Title: "I'm not…"

Pairing: Robin/Slade  
Summary: Robin kinda miss Slade... Reflection of Robins feelings and thoughts. (placed somewhere after the last episode of Teen Titans)  
Rating: T ….because of bad words XD  
Warnings: …maybe bad grammar '…sorry for not being an English native speaker

Disclaimer: I'm do not own Robin or the Teen Titans, not even Slade….although I really wish I did XD  
Sorry for the arrogance, that I would know what robin would think and feel but that is my point of view just a speculation of his feelings. And I'm Slade/Robin addicted at all…so don't read it if you don't like that

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It was dark, in the middle of the night. The light from the pale shimmering moon barely flowed through the curtains covering the window, which were wobbling in the slight summer wind.  
Robin sat in front of the wall on the cold floor, switching newspapers through his hands. Every inch of the floor and walls were pinned with letters, newspaper articles and pictures. Villains, accidents- and Slade…  
His mask was back on the wall. It covered it with his cold metal and glimmered bleak every time the weak gleam of the moonlight hit it.  
Without it, the room seemed so…empty… somehow Robin felt that way lately.  
He had brought all the old stuff of him back to his room that he had banned to the basement earlier.  
He knew it wasn't right. Not healthy… but… He couldn't helped himself…  
"I'm not missing you..." He whispered in despair, weepy, like a little child, holding an article from one of his old cases in his hands.  
"I'm not…"

Robin browsed through all the cases the Titans had with Slade. Remembered the old fights. Somehow he felt sad. Lately there was no sign from him. Not a single one…  
He searched all the newspapers and the internet. He even asked some of his old "friends" if they had heard about him. But nothing… It was as if he just vanished…  
Robin felt a heavy sting in his chest. He hasn't thought about him for a long while, but now… since all the battles were over and it became quite again. After every Titan left for there homes, Robin started to feel lonely. It had became boring in this Town. Without someone you can fight, you lose your purpose…  
But that wasn't even the worst part, was it?  
He grabed at the mask and let it rest in his hands. Gingerly he trailed his finger over the cold and shiny metal.  
_It wasn't that he never showed up at this town since the end of the world, right?_ He thought, saddened.  
"He was here…" He whispered somehow sad.  
He remembered how Beast Boy told that he had seen him. At the place were Terra left that time. He fought him… Everything Robin could think in that moment was: _"Why him?"_  
Right, that kind of thoughts were childish and not worth of a leader, but he couldn't help himself, he was just so…  
"I'm not jealous…" He said silent and a bit angry. It wasn't even the real Slade. He knew that, BB told him. But it made no difference. He came back, but not for him.  
He felt that sting again. _It hurts._  
Again he was coming back, and again it wasn't for him… Hadn't he told him it was all because of him? Hadn't he done everything just because of him. Wasn't he the reason why Slade had been in that town?  
Robin shrank himself together to a ball of trembling flesh and bone and pressed the mask on his burning body.  
_How childish…_ He thought. _but he said so… doesn't he?!_

Robin remembered the time he thought Slade was dead. How bored and somehow sad he felt. Like now..  
He couldn't deny it any longer. He was kind of obsessed over him. The first time he don't even noticed it, than always denied it. But now it was way too late for that. Not even his friends would believe his silly tries to hide the truth.  
It had hurt so much…The first time Slade came back… but not for him…  
He still could hear his deep and dark voice and the cruel spoken words of him.  
_"That's precious Robin… but I didn't came back for you!"_  
He remembered how his heart stopped for an eternity and he nearly forgot to breath.  
It was almost unbearable… He had came back for Raven, not for him…  
"But you said…" He murmured into his closed form.  
"I'm not jealous…" He whispered in despair. "I'm not!"  
First he replaced him with that bitch Terra and than he died! But as he returned he don't even took barely notice of him.  
"Ha." He laughed in despair. "Not that I wanted it that badly, right?!" He whispered.  
No. He was a Titan, and nothing would change that! And not a criminal at all!!  
He wheezed. "I'm hopeless, right?!"  
Robin stood up and stared a long time at the dark mask. Every time the slightly moonlight hit the metal and it mirrored in it, he felt like crying.  
"I'm not jealous…" He whispered in tears.  
Slowly, really slowly, he went back to his desk and placed the cold metal carefully on it. His fingertips trailed gentle a few times over the polished surface.  
"I'm not…" He whispered again.  
A little vacillated he went back to his bed. It was already late and he hadn't slept for a long time.

It took a half eternity until Robin felt asleep. A pair of tears escorted him into his dreams. Dreams that probably wouldn't be sweet at all…  
"I'm not missing you…" He wisped silently.

-End-


End file.
